Mr. Samurai.
date : Sunday, July 22, 2007

I suddenly realised how little time I have in my hands now. There is only about less than 2 months to the promotional exams! Exactly 2 months to my 'A' levels Mother Tongue and H1 Mathematics exams! This probably means i have so little time left in NPCC. Sigh...with a blink of an eye, the end of my NPCC route is visible. And I can't seem to get enough of it....haiz. I have exactly 6 weeks left to the promotional exams.

6 weeks...reminds me of an english drama production screened on channel i. It was the last english drama production from Channel i pre-merger. Performances stared by Adrian Pang and Steph Song. It's done by Kelvin Tong's production house, Boku Films.

About

Six Weeks is a drama series about a man who discovers he has six weeks left to live. David Wong is an ordinary Singaporean who is desperately trying to chase the Singaporean dream. In reality, his marriage is in shambles, his son doesn’t respect him, he can’t get his daughter into a good primary school, his relationship with his father is rocky at best, his boss despises him and his career is down the toilet. When David finds out he has only 6 weeks left to live, he sets about reassessing his priorities and fixing his life. Each episode heartwarmingly depicts a week in David’s life, as he learns to mend his relationships and treasure every moment he has with his loved ones.

I am not down with cancer or or trapped in a distrastrous wedlock. But it seems to me that I only have 6 weeks left in NPCC. 2 weeks to be active....while the next 4 weeks of taking a passive role in overseeing the events. Honestly...I feel like a dying Adrian Pang now. Haiz...There are so many unfinished business and I can't just go yet. I really feel that my life is f***ed up now. Not to mentioned my parents constant rantings at me. Give me a break...can't I have a certain control over the events of my life? I am not asking for a full control mind you. Rage is really building up within me now and I feel like slamming the keyboard now. Surprised eh? I can be pretty violent. But of course, my rational mind will always prevail. I will not be stupid to the extent of spoiling that keyboard (how am i going to blog if i destroyed the keyboard?). Lol...well...I am just ranting away...I guess I will have to take step at a time.

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date : Saturday, July 14, 2007

Hello all, here I am updating my blog again as promised. I went for my unit's training to train the cadets after school yesterday. Before the training started i gave Weisheng his birthday present which is a police decorative item I bought from the green adventure retail shop at West Mall. I am really happy to see him still being so committed to the unit. The training was still quite fine, the usual problems surfaced and I dealt with it. Following that I took the secondary 2s and 3s for the Method of Instruction as they are preparing for their upcoming promotion test this month. Meanwhile Weisheng took the secondary 1s for drills. At the end of the training, I met up with my clique of CIs for pool. As always it was fun and Minghao is acting damn horny that night. After our game of pool we hung around at the interchange for a while before going home.

This morning I woke up at 9 plus and went to the bukit panjang plaza macdonald's for a area ci meeting. Nothing went well from the start and something which happened really pissed me off. I shall not talk about it anymore. After meeting, I went to JP with JQ and Shenghan to play pool. Shenghan left after the game of pool while JQ and I went and play lan. JQ owned me at DOTA while I bombed him at Generals. haha...we are even for now. I hang around with JQ at JP and finally at West Mall. I went to the popular book stall and bought a motivation poster (above). I intended to hang it in the NPCC room. It quoted:

"It's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does anyway. The more important thing is that you must admit it, learn from it, and stop repeating it."


Maybe the cadets won't read it...but hopefully they will for their own benefit. Don't get look down by other schools. Show them that you will do it and you can. Show me your commitment and I will give you my time.

I reached home close to 7pm and finished up the last part of the NCO course booklet which came to a stop of 48 pages. I just passed it to Wee Chong requesting for his help in vetting it. Thanks Wee Chong. =)

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date : Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Hello to all, after a long period of time here I am updating my blog again. I am very sorry for not updating during the past 2-3 weeks. I had been quite tied up with my mid year examinations which ended only last friday. For the following days, I am busy with school as well as NPCC. I hope i will be forgiven....haha.

This month will be a pretty stressful month for me as I will be planning for a NCO course for my secondary 3s and 2s. This facilitation for the handover and the promotion test for the whole unit is going to stretch over a period of 1 month. At the same time I will have to balance this cca committment with my studies. Which makes me wonder how am I going to make it through....haiz.
Maybe I should just take a step at a time?

Only have one simple wish which is my secondary 2s and 3s will make an effort to learn as much as they could during this month and show me a significant amount of progress in them. I hope that mine and my OC's words made sense to them and they will start to pull up their socks.

Beside these two issues, another one has been bugging me since last year. And I know that fretting over it is of no use. I just can't forget her even though I know it is not possible between us. Previously when we stopped talking for a period of time, I hoped that we could just be normal friends again. During this year when we started talking again, I was elated but soon I find myself sinking back into the emotional blackhole again. I realised I am such a greedy person who can't be sastisfied with what I have. I wanted the relationship to go beyond the state of norm. But again, it is not possible...it is always my greatest fear that if I do so, our friendship will be at risk. For now I have not come up with a solution on this emotional deadlock. Maybe my feelings for her will fade with time like what JQ said?

Everything remains to be a question mark.

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