I have a feeling that something will change, and something good will happen!

Some times you just keep telling yourself that everything is all right and it will be fine. One might be all high and happy for a moment. Yet when reality comes knocking on the door, you get double the impact x2. You know youdon't want to look and yet you can't stop your head from turning. In the end you see what you don't want to see... contradicting isn't it?

I want to be happy and normal so I start from scratch again and hoping that things will change for the better. Yet whenever there are starting to signs of improvment, it slumps down again. Why?

whywhywhywhywhywhywhy?! I tried so hard to be normal again and yet I failed. Somehow it is always the fact that I am being treated very much differently. I am not asking for the past to return again but at least be natural. I am trying really hard let go and clear up my emotions somehow or rather I failed.

I keep telling myself. "It is nobody's fault and so just let it go!"

I feel so angry yet I know this anger isn't really caused by anyone. The demons are having a great time digging a hole out of me. =)

I promised myself that I will not blog about unhappy stuff as I only want to read about the joyful events which I have been through. Thus I will be able to remind myself how fortunate I am and not focus on unhappy issues.

Guess I failed again. :) x2